How To Easily Get The Respect You Deserve

by Mindy Kaleta on August 29, 2014

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How To Easily Get The Respect You Deserve

“People don’t Respect me!””

“I don’t think anyone takes me and what I do seriously!”

“Maybe they are right, I don’t deserve it.”

Ever have those crazy thoughts floating around in that brain of yours?  Yea, me too.  All too often, I admit.  But I know that sooner or later, I will wake up and know that hey, that is NOT who I am and the feedback that I’m receiving is just another person’s opinion. It doesn’t make it right or true!

It DOES take some time to get people to take us seriously!!  I’ve had issues with this myself because I’ve always looked younger than my age while growing up and people kept assuming I was young and immature. As I got into my 30’s…people still thought of me as years younger, which on one hand is a compliment, but on the other hand, I STILL was not thought of as a mature adult and worthy of being taken seriously or respected. I remember mumbling under my breath, “I am married with three kids and I deserve respect!!”  (Of course at my age presently, it’s nice to hear, so it does have its advantages as the years go by! LOL!!)

But I know of women, just because they are blonde, aren’t taken seriously.. You know the comments when people are rolling their eyes because of something you’ve said or did, “Just look at her hair”,  “She’s just an airhead blonde”, they say.  But you know what, I think the underlying issues are far more than just outward appearances.  It has to do with whether WE are grounded in who WE are to the point where we emit this aura of confidence, joy, posture…that overrides the essence of our own self-doubt, lack of self-confidence and allows us to let our gifts and talents shine through in not just our work, but in all areas of our lives.

Yesterday morning, I was listening to the third interview for the summit Women Changing the World with Host Tia Kelly and her interview was with Liz DiAlto, of Wild Soul Movement.  (Check it out, you may want to sign up to get them too!)  I was blown away by the value and diversity of the women on this summit and Liz was no exception! I loved her take on how to let yourself shine, creating boundaries with love and in particular how when we love ourselves unconditionally, fully and respect our own selves…it can’t help but leak out onto everyone else!!  I’ve heard that, but never before in that way.

So what would this look like in real life?

It’s simple as 1 – 2 – 3!

So, here goes…

Step 1 – Make the Decision to Stop Playing Small

You know the way we will not speak up because we are afraid that doing so may make someone uncomfortable; Or maybe we tone down what we wear, what we eat or how we act for fear that it will be criticized by someone; Or what about procrastinating on our dreams of “making a difference in the world” because we feel we “should” take one more class, get one more degree or gain more experience in our field before we can take that dream to the world?

We each have a calling and it could be a simple humble mission, behind the scenes and barely noticeable, to being globally visible, front stage and center.  But we all have that still small voice inside us that is screaming to get out and to be acknowledged.  And when we allow that still small voice to speak to us, call us and give us the courage to accept the mission, authentically and fully…THEN we make the decision to move towards respecting ourselves, inside and out for who we are and our calling to the fullest degree. No matter what, no matter who says what…you are dedicated to honoring yourself and your calling.

Step 2 – Give Others Permission To Be Who They Are

Not everyone is going to be in a place to be able to acknowledge who we are and what we are doing in any given moment. Sometimes we align with others and their dreams and sometimes we don’t. Doesn’t mean that at some point in time, they WON’T be in a place that resonates with us and that will be great!  But if they don’t and aren’t in that place, that’s where we can say to them as Liz said it so eloquently (and I’m paraphrasing in my own words), “Ya know, it’s perfectly alright if we see things differently on this subject (or in this situation). This is where I am right now and it just doesn’t feel right to me or I don’t feel like we are on the same page right now, and that’s okay.”  Then give them the opportunity to be who they are in regards to whatever the situation is. No hard feelings, no “she should have done this or that” or “I should have been more this way or that”…just let…them…go. It’s alright. Everything will be okay. We are all on our own personal journeys.  People will come in and out of our lives at various times and that’s one thing that makes life so interesting and fun!

Step 3 – Love, Honor and Accept Yourself

This, my friends, is where most people get tripped up.  Even though you’ve decided to NOT play small anymore, and have outwardly given permission to others to be who they are and are accepting of where they are in life , there is another BIG piece to the puzzle; Loving and Accepting yourself Honestly and Completely.  So what does that mean?  It means truly coming to grips with yourself and believing that no matter what the outside circumstances are, no matter who’s with you and who is not, no matter what is being said about you…that no matter what…you still love, honor and accept yourself; for who you are.

And with that comes the R-E-S-P-E-C-T.  When you are unequivocally grounded in:

  • I am giving it my all
  • I am honoring my spirit
  • I have a mission and a purpose
  • I accept and love myself and my calling
  • I am enough

THEN…you naturally and organically start to emit that frequency of posture, self-confidence, love, acceptance and respect for not only yourself, but others.  You love them (and yourself) for who you are and don’t expect anything more or less.

I said it was Simple…but I didn’t say it was easy. Yes, there will be days when people will drive you over the edge!! There will be days when both you and others will “act out” as a result of the perspective personalities that clash like “all get out”!   Practice will certainly help in getting this down pat, but…it is possible! When those times occur, just remember these three little things:

  1. Play Big
  2. Be Authentically You
  3. Love, Honor and Accept Yourself

Let me know your thoughts on this…I’m curious…what do you think?

P.S. Hooray!! Now you can post directly to my facebook page Ladybugs-A-Plenty! or comment by clicking the {comment} below! 

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