Ready To Be Who You Really Are?
You may think that is an odd thing to ask, but really…seriously…I have come across many people in just the past couple of weeks who are struggling with this simple question. And as they sit and reflect upon their lives, or just looking at their reflection in the mirror, deep down their heart is crying out…as in the Disney movie “Mulan”, “Who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me? Why is my reflection someone I don’t know?”
And all the while they wonder why they have to pretend, wear a mask or hold their tongue. Why? Where did we pick up these debilitating habits? If I were to guess…and you probably will agree…that we picked it up somewhere in our childhood. At one time or another, we learned one, two or more of the following:
- “I’m not enough” as in; good, smart, tall, short, pretty, successful…and the list goes on and on
- That perfection is the goal
- If you are nice to others, they will be nice to you and you will have all your needs met such as; belonging, advancement in your career, long-lasting and loving relationships or kids who will always do the right thing and love you unconditionally
- You are to be the “Nice Girl” and no matter how much physical, emotional or verbal abuse that is thrown your way, you are to take the high road and NOT say what you want to say but bottle it all up inside (which we now know is extremely dangerous to our health and well-being)
Or maybe the big one
- The superwoman syndrome – “I can do it all and have it all!” (We’ve all bought into that one!)
But somewhere in there, we also learned the media’s mixed messages. In Anxious to Please by James Rapson & Craig English, it says:
“Our consumer culture has a bottomless appetite and a protean ability to shift shapes. It can take in any ideal, fad, theory, or fact and turn it into a money-maker. The messages are relentless as a jack hammer, but utterly without substance or direction. They are also wildly contradictory. A girl or woman is told that she must:
- Make her own living and rely on a man
- Be in charge of her own sexuality and subjugate herself to a man’s pleasure
- Be aggressively successful and be pleasingly submissive
- Command attention and defer the limelight
- Run a business and run a household
- And above all, she must look good while she’s doing all these things.
In other words, a girl must purchase her validation to gain the outward approval of men, of other women, and of the culture. These conflicting messages are poisonous enough for any girl or woman trying to find her own truth, but for a” Nice Girl”, whose prime motivation is the anxiety to please, they can be lethal.” pgs. 33,34 (some italics added)
Wow! Wasn’t that a mouthful!! But it’s so true!!
And we don’t even recognize that all of it is contributing to the demise of our very ability to recognize ourselves in the mirror. Our reflection indeed “someone I don’t know”. And why? Because we have listened and believed our culture and it’s media’s messages, what men, our mothers and other women have taught us as a result of their own fears of losing ground on who they were as well and passed on those messages of what they thought to be right; what would get us to where we wanted to be. But with that less than helpful knowledge, habits of behavior and our constant striving to be Super Women…we have become someone who is barely recognizable, especially to ourselves.
I believe that women today are burning to find how to break out of this culture that we’ve been bound in for far too long. They are asking the tough questions…
“Who is the girl I see, staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection someone I don’t know?
Must I pretend that I’m someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show, who I am inside?”
AND…they have decided…
“There’s a heart that must be free to fly
That burns with the need to know the reason why
Why must we all conceal what we think, how we feel?
Must there be a secret me I’m forced to hide?
I won’t pretend that I’m someone else for all time
When will my reflection show who I am inside?”
lyrics from the Disney movie “Mulan”
So, my question to you is this:
When will YOUR reflection show, who YOU are inside?
Are You Ready To Be Who You Really Are?
To hear this beautiful song and let it’s words sink deep into your heart
CLICK HERE! if you are reading this in your e-mail
CLICK BELOW if you are online. Enjoy!